Who do I want to be next?
Hello,
This is the question I am currently wrangling with, and I would love to say that I have had a sudden flash of inspiration or insight that will point me in the right direction. While I have had that clarity a few times, packing up and moving from the US to the UK and back again (and again) about "where next," it has been a different story every time I have changed how I am living, the work I am doing, and who I want to be.
In the past, I have spent a lot of time trying to work out the perfect answer, trying to change who I was into who I am becoming in one fell swoop. I inevitably get stuck, frustrated, and angry with myself because what I thought it would be like to be the next version of Hope is far from reality. I jump in too quickly rather than taking the time to experiment and play with multiple possibilities, trying them on as I would when buying a new pair of jeans.
I have found myself back where I started more times than I would like to count, so I am trying something new this time. Instead of spending weeks, months, and years thinking about who I want to be (or who I am meant to be), I am taking my first steps by identifying "possible selves" I would like to experiment with.
Something to think about
Although we have spent years being told that knowledge comes from reflection, then acting; planning, then implementing, personal transformation works in the opposite sequence. By taking action first and then reflecting on the outcomes, we learn more about ourselves and how we want to interact in the world. Armed with this knowledge, we can act and reflect again, making adjustments to what we think is true about ourselves, what we want, and how we want to be.
Something to answer
Stuck about who you could be? To come up with possible selves, consider journalling about these three questions:
What will my life look like in 5 years if I continue living my life on my current trajectory?
What would I do if the current trajectory could no longer happen and I needed to change?
What would I do if money were no object?
I will be journalling along with you as I consider my possible selves.
Something to do
Get outside of your comfort zone and try doing something you want to do rather than feel you should.
This may be going for a bike ride because you remember how much you used to enjoy it.
It could be reconnecting with an old friend you have not talked to in ages, even though you feel nervous about reaching out because it has been so long.
It could involve sending one or two emails a day to people outside your network to introduce yourself, ask for advice, or sell your products or services.
How did it feel? What did you learn about yourself? Again, I invite you to reply and let me know how it goes.
A bit more about Notes From Hope
Every Friday, I will send notes with ideas for you to think about, questions to ask yourself, and actions to try.
I would love to hear your insights and how your thinking, journalling, and acting went, so reply to this email and let me know. I intend to anonymously share our insights so we can learn from and support each other as we navigate the space between where we are now and where we would like to be.
This is my "something to do" as I experiment with acting first rather than spending so much time staring at my navel that I never try new versions of myself on for size.
If you know someone who would love this newsletter, which offers insights and tools for self-awareness, change, and living your best life (and some hope, too), please share it with them.
Much love,
Hope